doit, doit now!

I was laughing so hard at this my sides hurt.

So in my last post I posted a letter my cousin wrote to me after I got married. As you might imagine after reading it, I was livid, and I weighed on whether or not to answer him. I decided I should. I am not one to take being called a sinner lightly, especially by another sinner, Mr. Glass House. My (long) response, after the jump:

Update 12/17/2008 02:25 AM: I have also decided to license of this letter (perhaps presumptorily) with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike License. Details are at the bottom of the post.
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One of my cousins felt compelled to write me after I got married and tell me what his understanding of the Catholic Church’s position on gay marriage is. I found it considerably offensive even though it was couched in the language of “Christian love.” I took his name out to protect the not-so-innocent. His letter follows after the jump:

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Hey, crimes against humanity are only treason. Death penalty stuff. Why don’t I pardon myself before I even get convicted!

Thanks again to everyone who voted for him. Everything has gone so well since he’s been in office!

I think it sort of speaks for itself.

As usual Patty and I were roughhousing on Friday night and somehow we started shoving our iPhones into each other’s mouths. I bit down on his phone (very lightly) and felt glass fragments spray into my mouth. I shattered the screen and dented the aluminum on the back. SMRT.

Speaking of good things in my life, there is now a herd of goats on the hillside of Corona Heights Park near my home. There has been a huge problem with homeless encampments there and they need to clear the brush out so they can build switchback trails to allow the cops to get to the encampments. It’s sort of funny to see 300+ goats a block above Castro Street, and no one knows they are there.

This post might be NSFW. YMMV. If you find it in fact NSFW then I apologize for offending your sensibilities beforehand, because this is actually pretty damn funny.

So my friend Sheila has several hundred dachsund puppies in her loft, or at least it seems like it when you go over there and hear them bark. Kevin and I had to dogsit for two of the little ladies about a year ago. A couple of days before the dogsitting was to occur our friend Pink told us that the dogs “69’d” on a regular basis. I was incredulous. “Pink,” I said, “dogs don’t 69.”

“No, no, they do! I swear!” he insisted.

“No way, Pink,” I said.

“Whatever, Nick,” he dismissed.

So later in the week the girls came over for their dogsitting trip. At one in the morning the fat one destroyed our comforter for no apparent reason. Feathers filled the air as we fired up the vacuum, much to the apparent chagrin of our landlords above. Meanwhile the brown one walked and peed at the same time, leaving odd, long trails of urine all over the house. Lovely. After they exhausted us with their horrible behavior adorable antics, we fell asleep in our comforterless bed.

As usual I got up the next morning an hour or two earlier than Kevin and traipsed into the office to check email and whatnot. The girls followed me in and collapsed behind me on the floor while our dog, Feynman, wisely remained sleeping in the bedroom. I was typically bleary-eyed and tired, so it took me a second to recognize the distinctive sound of tongue slapping flesh. My conversation with Pink immediately came flooding back to me. I peeked over my shoulder to find, lo and behold, the dogs doing this:

So if anyone ever tells you that there are not gay animals you can point them in this direction, pointing out that a gay animal himself posted a video of other gay animals doing the nasty.

Sometimes I read things on other people’s sites that I already had mentally composed, just never put down in any tangible form. I swear people steal them straight out of my head.

In any case, Peter Dubuque has written an amazingly succint, well-put letter to some Democratic congresspeople detailing the absurdity of the past few years, and how the Dems are just as responsible for the horrendous transformation of American life during the Bush Ascendancy as the Republicans are.

As Peter quoting Edmund Burke puts it: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Just an awesome read.